Fall of 2007

.Who would have thought I'd be a widow? How would I have known that you were so ill that day?



I feel soooo bad, because I feel I let you down. I should have come home from work, I should have called an ambulance. I thought you had a flu or a cold. That you would collapse with a heart attach should not have surprized or shocked me but it did.



You should have died two years ago but you continued with me for another two years and I'm so grateful. I love you now just as much as I did then. You were my baby, my best friend, the child I never had and you meant the world to me.

Now what do I do? I pick up my feet and take it one day at a time whether I like it or not. I have my new little home to fix up, friends to cultivate, etc. I don't want to though. I just want to sit here and grieve for my loss. I want to be left alone with my pain. I will not do that, I will wake up and keep on going. I have a job, a life, friends and new things to explore now.

Astrology zone October horoscope indicated that Jupiter would enter my house of finances after Saturn had been in there for the past two years. That the change would be sudden but who would have thought your death would be the catalyst? I am now saving over $300 a month in insurance, $600 a year in your prescriptions, but God only knows that I was more than happy to support you and take care of you.

Every day I pray that the Lord can give me strength to go on without you and ease the pain that I feel.